![]() ![]() If someone you talk to has a reaction that is unhelpful or triggering for you, it’s okay to end the conversation and find other outlets for sharing and healing. Some people you talk to may offer logistical support, others may share their experiences. There is no one “right” way to express sympathy or show support for someone who’s grieving. If you share your story or take the lead in letting people around you know how they can best support you, it will help them respond in a comfortable and helpful way. Suicide is not a topic many of us discuss openly, and sometimes people don’t know what to say to a friend who’s grieving the loss of a loved one to suicide. Phrases like “commit suicide” can be seen as assigning blame, while phrases like “died by suicide” removes blame and presumed intent. If it’s too painful, it’s okay to avoid these events when possible. If you’re comfortable, you can use these moments as opportunities to talk about your loved one. Birthdays, holidays, and other significant events may trigger feelings of loss. Here are some tips to think about when sharing your experience: Letting shame, guilt, or fear stop you from talking about your experience can actually hinder your healing process in the long run. If you feel like you can’t talk about your loved one and the way they died for fear they’ll be judged, you could end up feeling alone in your grief. It may help to remind yourself of happy memories and quality time you shared together, and to talk about your relationship with others in your support network or with a therapist.Ĭoping with losing a loved one under any circumstances is difficult, but losing a loved one by suicide can feel even more complicated because of the stigma attached to suicide. ![]() It’s important to remember that the loss of a loved one does not define your worth, and their death does not define your whole relationship. You might wonder why your relationship wasn’t “enough” to keep your loved one from dying by suicide. When coping with grief, you might struggle with your own self-worth. This makes it impossible to know if you doing anything differently would have changed the outcome. Suicide is never the result of just one thing – when someone you love is struggling with suicidal thoughts, there’s no way to know exactly what’s going on in their mind or fully understand everything they’re coping with. While it’s natural to feel this way, it’s important to remember that you are not responsible for your loved one’s suicide. You may think things like, “Were there warning signs that I missed?” or “What if I had just made that phone call?”. When coping with your own feelings after a loss, you may feel like you are to blame. If you’re experiencing these kinds of strong reactions for several weeks or months, reach out for support for coping with the trauma of losing your loved one. While the intensity of shock and loss may slowy ebb away over time for some, it is also common to experience intense reactions during the weeks and months following a loved one’s suicide – including nightmares, flashbacks, difficulty concentrating, and withdrawing from other loved ones or everyday activities. ![]() There’s no time frame for “getting over” grief and no one “right” way to grieve. When you feel this way, it is important remind yourself that suicide is no one’s fault and that the road that led your loved one to this place was likely long and complicated. You may also be angry with yourself, or others in your circle, for feeling like you missed the warning signs of suicidal behavior. It’s also common to feel angry with your loved one for leaving you. All of these feelings are valid. Initially you may feel denial, shock, sadness, hopelessness, shame, or even feelings of anger. ![]() If you’ve lost someone to suicide, it’s normal to feel a range of emotions. There is No Right Way to Grieve Losing a Loved One to Suicide ![]()
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